


Work/life balance

by morganstern



Category: Imperial Radch Series - Ann Leckie, Provenance - Ann Leckie
Genre: Anxiety, Brief description of a murder scene (in context of Taucris's job), Established Relationship, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 02:28:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17051336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morganstern/pseuds/morganstern





	Work/life balance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gammarad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gammarad/gifts).



_New case, can't make it tonight. Sorry_

Taucris winced as she flicked away her messaging display, not wanting to look at her stilted message to Ingray any longer than she had to. It was a relief to finally have sent it, though her relief was rapidly being replaced by new facets of her anxious, formless guilt.

The message had been too impersonal, she was sure, though that could be excused by her being in a hurry. Once she and Deputy Chief Veret had finished the initial inspection of the body and e was busy giving orders to the local officers, she'd stolen a moment alone out in the hallway to warn Ingray that she wouldn't be coming to the fundraiser dinner tonight.

This was hardly the first time her work had forced her to cancel plans with Ingray - personal plans, or formal events she'd been due to attend as Ingray's plus-one - but this was the first time she'd had to skip an event that Ingray herself was hosting. She hoped Ingray would understand that Taucris really didn't have a choice about being stuck here, that she would rather have been at the fundraiser. Or, more accurately, despite the fact that she'd rather deal with any number of crime scenes than that fundraiser, she would absolutely have _chosen_ to be there instead if it were possible. She knew how important this event was to Ingray and her new foundation. 

She hoped no one would think it was odd that she hadn't come to support Ingray. She hoped that it wouldn't cause too much bother to have to rearrange the seating arrangements now, just an hour before it was due to start, and cursed herself for not sending a message half an hour ago when the call had come in.

It had been foolish, of course, to wait until she'd actually arrived at the scene and seen the body herself before she warned Ingray of her absence. It wasn't as though the Planetary Security officers on the scene could possibly mistake some other object for a dead body with three stab wounds in its chest. Taucris had been aware even back in her office that a case of violent death like this one - probably murder, or at least manslaughter - would inevitably mean that she would would be stuck on the job for another several hours while Deputy Chief Veret set the investigation into motion.

Taucris had had the entire drive over to the murder scene to message Ingray, but irrationally - childishly - she hadn't been able to bring herself to do it. Maybe there had been some misunderstanding, or perhaps the murderer would be found immediately, standing over the body holding a bloody knife. Of course, both of those scenarios would still have required hours on the scene, taking statements and collecting physical evidence… but the words to message Ingray had refused to come together properly. Yet another example of how she could hardly be considered a functional adult.

 _Enough,_ she told herself, and shoved her worries deep into the box they lived in while she was working. She was supposed to be protecting the public's safety, and it would be wrong to let herself get distracted by her own personal concerns while she was supposed to be investigating a murder... or even collating statistics on construction code violations. She wasn't sure if it was supposed to be so much of a relief.

"Taucris," the deputy chief called, and she ducked fully back inside the room. E nodded over toward a local officer from the sub-district office. "Help Officer Hirat set up a list of persons to interview. Make sure you set up the profiles and interview templates under the new investigation folder," e said, giving Taucris a meaningful look. A reminder to not, under any circumstances, let the local officers set up their own files on their own directories.

Taucris didn't need the reminder. She did not intend to spend even one more minute of her life scraping interview transcripts out of the 'notes' folder of a scheduling utility which ran on a local sub-district drive that her office's terminals didn't have access to.

As she turned to introduce herself to Officer Hirat - a serious-looking woman who did not seem to be plotting to implement any novel filing systems, but you never knew - a new message from Ingray scrolled discreetly across the edge of her vision.

_Everyone here will feel secure knowing you're out there protecting us. Stay safe!_

The reply had come barely two minutes after Taucris had send her message, when Ingray must be in the middle of a million last-minute preparations. How did Ingray always manage to say the right thing, right away?

"Nice to meet you," she murmured to Officer Hirat with a wan-feeling smile, and allowed herself to be led out of the way of the forensic mechs.

 

 

Ingray was still up when Taucris came home. She was dressed in her house robe and was humming to herself in a pleased sort of way as she stood at the counter, a glass in one hand, flipping through some files with the other. Her hair had escaped its braids, strands of it framing her face in a way that Taucris had always thought looked effortlessly romantic.

"Taucris!" she exclaimed, and came across the living area to embrace her, as though she hadn't seen Taucris just that morning. Or as though Taucris hadn't just ditched her at the beginning of the evening. "Here, you must have some of this serbat," she said, pouring a second glass from a thermos and handing it over.

"Thank you," Taucris said with a smile, because she was happy to see Ingray, especially after those long extra hours on the job. The serbat was delicious, made with chopped fresh herbs; Ingray must have brought it back from the dinner.

"Leftovers from the catering," Ingray said with a grin, and pushed an open plastic carry-box in her direction. It contained an assortment of fancy, finger-sized desserts - round rice cakes with sweet bean filling, tiny fruit custard tarts, candied locusts wrapped in pastry, little plastic cups of yam pudding.

"How did your event go?" Taucris asked before she bit into a rice ball, and Ingray was more than happy to talk while Taucris chewed.

"I think it went very well - for once there was no crisis with the temperature controls in the hall, or with the food," Ingray said. "We got people in from three other districts outside Arsamol - their education offices are thinking of adopting some of our programs for their own public crèches. There was even an undersecretary from the Magistracy Committee - though she did make clear that it was a personal, not an official, appearance." Ingray made a wry face that in no way disguised how pleased she was. "Even Ethiat Budrakim came," she added. Though it was clear that she must mean the younger Ethiat, the name still sent a shock through Taucris. "She'd confirmed her attendance with our office, of course, but I didn't quite let myself believe it until she actually arrived tonight."

The senior Ethiat Budrakim was under trial for fraud, perjury, falsifying evidence, and obstruction of justice. There was no name under Hwae law - yet - for the crimes he'd committed in getting his child sent into Compassionate Removal. A case had been made for charging Budrakim with murder, as Garal Ket had been declared legally dead, but the courts had thrown it out - unfortunately, in Taucris's opinion. The rest of Budrakim's family, including his heir, had cut themselves off from the media and from society at large since the charges had been laid, refusing to comment on the case until a final verdict was reached.

"Things must really be going badly for her father in court," Taucris said. "If she's making a public appearance supporting your initiatives."

"Yes, and not just that - I think she's completely convinced of his guilt now, after seeing all the evidence presented in the trial." Ingray hesitated. "She told me in confidence that she intends to repudiate his name after the verdict, whether he is convicted or acquitted."

Taucris shouldn't have been shocked. People had done it before, in cases of extreme disgrace. And yet… she couldn't recall it ever happening during her lifetime. "I don't blame her," she murmured, staring down into her cup of sherbat.

"Of course, she may just be thinking about the way public opinion is blowing these days… but I honestly think she does care more about what he did than about what people think about it." Ingray shook her head, returned to her normal cheerful tone. "Anyway, on that happy note… how was your crime?"

Taucris let herself be charmed into another smile. "Oh, it's a murder," she admitted. "Several suspects with motive already. We also found the murder weapon where the killer tried to hide it - Deputy Chief Veret doesn't have a very high opinion of their cunning, if their concealment skills are any indication."

"Well, here's to a straightforward case," Ingray said, mock-toasting her words with a locust before popping it into her mouth.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your dinner," Taucris said, looking down at her hands. She'd meant to say that right at the beginning, but the conversation had swept on past her chance to say it earlier.

"There was a murder! You could hardly have helped it," Ingray said, as though she thought Taucris had made a joke. She chuckled. "Besides, it doesn't do any harm to remind people that my partner is out there battling crime. Makes them think twice before they accuse me of coddling criminals."

Taucris found her hands twisting against each other as she stared at them. "Still," she began haltingly. "I know I'm not exactly the kind of partner you need. Half the time I can't make it to events, and even when I'm there I'm not... _good_ at it - " Not like Ingray, who charmed everyone in the room one by one, while Taucris followed at her elbow like a mute and awkward shadow.

Ingray frowned, looking surprised and concerned, as though this wasn't a conversation she must also have expected to have sometime soon. "Taucris, what are you - I don't _need_ any kind of partner," she protested. "Look - my mother Netano never had a partner, and she managed just fine. And she has social obligations about a hundred times as bad as mine."

"Yes, but she always had your nuncle Lak," Taucris pointed out.

"And I have my own assistant. E's very good at eir job," Ingray said, as though that were anything like the same thing.

She took a deep and miserable breath, opening her mouth to say something else, but Ingray grabbed her hands. 

"Taucris," Ingray said again, and Taucris stopped trying to say anything. "I don't _need_ a partner for my job. I could get along just fine if you didn't come to a single event. Or if you quit Planetary Security and spent all day carving novelty vestiges out of bean curd instead. It's nice to have you there. It helps. But I don't need you there," Ingray said, and drew Taucris's hands toward her.

Taucris had a painful lump in her throat. She tried valiantly to keep any of her tears from spilling over. If she cried, she knew Ingray would be sad, maybe feel guilty. Ingray's own eyes were shining wetly, but she was still smiling. 

"I need you here," Ingray said softly, and Taucris let herself be drawn in.


End file.
